Ever the Same
by savinglives44
Summary: House and Cuddy finally get it on after Cuddy helps House detox, and make a list of sex fantasies. Fantasy number one: ice cream sundaes. Post Under My Skin. AU. Smutastic with a little angst.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Just to warn you- this is pointless smut. That's all really. There's no character development or plot (yet). In fact, they may be a little OOC, so...that is what you should expect. And a whole lot of fun. I will probably continue this until I come up with something for my other story.**

**Because everyone knows that Cuddy and House really did have sex. Amber was wrong. (Ahh, denial will get me through the summer.)**

**I don't own them and review please, if you like it!**

* * *

**Ever the Same**

_Fall on me  
Tell me everything you want me to be  
Forever with you, forever in me  
Ever the same  
__  
- Matchbox 20_

Finally, House and Cuddy kissed.

Kissed like they always wanted to. Fighting for dominance and breath.

His semi-grown-out stubble scratched her, but it wasn't enough for her to stop him. She tugged on his blazer as he moved his kisses down her neck.

_Mmm...good. But I need...boobs. _His hands circled around her waist and spun her around the other wall, removing her jacket, and then her shirt.

_That was a pretty smooth move. _Cuddy seemed more intent on moving to the bedroom, but he liked pinning her up against the wall. He sucked on her mouth again, pressing his arms into her back. _Please don't disappear._

There was hardly any room for her arms, so she threw them over his shoulder, periodically rubbing his neck and through his hair.

It wasn't very long before House couldn't take the feeling of her breasts pressing up against him any more. He had to move. Trailing his fingers over her stomach, he brought his hand up to her chest and pulled at the cup, exploring. It would be delicious, he knew. If only she wasn't so damn short. Even with her in heels, his neck ached bending down.

He got one worthwhile bite before she pulled his head back. _Uh-oh. Shouldn't have done that._

She didn't seem mad though. She began kissing him again, tilting his head to get better access. While she busied herself in the kiss, he unhooked her bra and slid the straps down her arms. She smiled and took it off.

House stared momentarily. He'd spent a lot of time thinking about her breasts, fantasizing about them. He had to savor the moment when he was actually allowed to touch them. He reached forward slowly, barely grazing the sides before she stepped away. "Hey!" _I want to touch those!_

He must have frowned, because she laughed and grabbed his hand, pulling him into the bedroom. "How did you get me half-naked so quickly?"

He shrugged cockily, "Just one of my many skills." It wasn't that great of a comeback, but he was too busy staring at the big, beautiful, dangly boobs in front of him.

Her legs hit the front of the bed and she slid backward sexily.

He stared at the bed for a moment, knowing he wasn't physically able to pounce on her like he wanted. He sighed and walked to the side of the bed, flopping down on his back.

Cuddy was on him in an instant, legs curling around his waist. She buried her face in his neck and twisted her fingers in his t-shirt.

House was still trying to get a taste of her breats. He lunched hungrily, halfway on top of her.

This time, he bit into the fabric of his shirt as it was being pulled over his head.

He growled and she touched his cheek, fingering his short hair. "Patience," she whispered.

He smiled and ducked his head toward her chest. Again, she moved out of the way to pull his undershirt off. "There. It's better now that we're even." He raised an eyebrow in confusion and she explained, "With our clothes. I don't want to be the only one showing some skin." She pressed against him and he closed his eyes.

"Yeah." House tried to concentrate, but she felt too smooth and cool against his skin. And then she started kissing him again so he forgot about her breasts for a second. Only a second, though, because they were there, soft against his chest. He brushed the side of one again, causing her to moan and press harder into him.

_Poor things. They're getting squashed. _He moved his lips to her cheek and she took the hint to move back. "Okay. I know you've been waiting." Her eyes squinted excitedly. She leaned back, resting on the pillows.

"Waiting?" He grabbed eagerly, grinning as he finally cupped her breasts. "You've been thrusting these in front of me- teasing me for years. It's been a fucking war between my libido and desire to keep my job."

She sighed, turning her head into the pillow. "I probably wouldn't have fired you, if you'd slipped up."

"You would have been pissed." He kissed her cleavage and then a nipple.

"Hmmm." She didn't even have a comment.

He grinned and sucked the nipple hard, using his hand to play with the other. He felt her fingers stroke against his forehead and he looked up. She had her eyes closed, running her fingers lightly over his face and shoulders. _She's so hot, _he thought.After a while, he switched nipples, brushing the wet one with his fingers.

She tugged at his hair. "Sorry. I-"

"It's okay." He felt a little guilty about sucking her nipples raw, but he'd been waiting _so long_. "You know I can't get enough."

"Yeah." She smiled playfully and kissed him on the lips.

She looked so beautiful, happy and flushed with her fantastic rack right in front of his eyes, that House just had to tell her, "I love you."

Cuddy pulled him more fully on top of her and deepened the kiss. Her legs almost wrapped twice around him, pressing her pelvis against him. "Me too."

"Wait a minute." _What the hell had he just said? _He paused and took a few deep breaths. "I didn't mean that."

"What?" She pushed him off of her, moving away. "You're kidding, right?"

_Oh, fuck. I guess I did mean it. Now I have to make up some crap and shit, she's mad. _He felt her arms tense in anger, and he rubbed his hands up the length of them. "Actually, I was deciding if angry sex would be hotter than passionate sex. What do you think?"

"I think you're an asshole." She sat up straight, staring at him, seemingly pondering her options.

House didn't like the way she was drawing away from him. Angry sex wasn't working out too well. "Okay, okay. Get back over here. You know I meant it."

"No. I don't." She sighed and kissed him, sliding back to lie next to him.

He threw an arm over her waist, tugging her until their hips met. Then, he pecked at her cheek until she smiled. She turned her head to kiss him, this time with much less enthusiasm, which was a little disappointing but he supposed that he deserved it.

She surprised him by pressing on his shoulders and rolling them over. "It's your turn."

"Are you going to suck on my nipples?" He leaned back, his hands tucked behind his head. _This should be good._

She kissed each of his nipples once, softly, and ran her hands through his light chest hair. "I was hoping I would get to suck on something else."

He tried to hide just how excited he was with a sarcastic retort. "That was clever."

"Shut up." She kissed his stomach, leaving wet marks which she nuzzled away with her nose.

He took a deep breath in when she unbuttoned his pants. It was nerve-wrecking, yet he wanted it so badly. He watched her, and knew she was nervous too. Her lips were slightly parted in a half smile and her hands were too clumsy to be confident. She pulled the pants down his legs, running her hands over them on the way back up. Before she could reach for his boxers, he stopped hers. "Take off yours too." He paused. "Just so that we're even."

"Okay."

Clad in only ivory panties, she climbed back on his legs. "Better?"

"Oooooh yeah." She looked like every fantasy he'd ever had. Smooth, _smooth_ legs and an ass that he just couldn't wait to grab. He touched her hair, sliding his fingers through her bangs. She looked up and kissed his fingers as her own moved the elastic of his boxers to the middle of his thigh.

He was only halfway hard, not taking his Viagra beforehand. But, with her light touch just grazing over his length- he was ready to go in no time. Cuddy kept her mouth at his thighs for as long as she could, until his eyes started pleading her so his mouth wouldn't have to. Still, she moved _so _painfully slowly as she rubbed her open mouth over his balls. And then a slightest tip of a warm tongue at the base of his penis.

He closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath that was almost a moan. "Jesus Christ, Cuddy." The same tip ran all the way up and then all the way back down. _Ohh fuck. _He pursed his lips, as to not let the expletive out.

"Don't fall asleep on me." She brushed her lips and nose against him.

"I'm not!" His voice rang out, and he peeked out at the incredibly hot visual of her staring at his dick. _Hold on! _He looked at the ceiling and curled his fingers in the sheets.

She slowly lowered her mouth onto him, held for a second, and then withdrew, sucking to keep as little space in her mouth as possible. "Feel good?"

"Yeah." He was still looking at the ceiling.

"Watch this time." She repeated the motion with his eyes on her.

_Fuck, she's doing this on purpose. _When she reached the tip again, he gasped, "Cuddy? Come back up here now."

"I've barely even done anything yet." She rubbed her fingers over his balls. "Just give me a little warning, okay?" He nodded and she went down on him again, this time much quicker and less deep. He turned his head into the pillow and watched her out of one eye. He could feel her tongue pressing down and lapping up him with every bob of her head. He waited as long as he could before thrusting his hips and saying, "Cuddy."

She understood, and stopped immediately, holding him tightly in her hand.

He regained control quickly. _Wow. _"Do you do that to every guy?" _Please, no._

She shook her head.

_Liar. _Not that he thought she was a slut, but women tended to lie about stuff like that just to make guys feel better. He told himself that he wasn't falling for it- for her- but he really did feel special.

"Condom?" She asked, sitting up and straddling his legs.

"You don't trust me?" She shouldn't, with his past history of hookers. But truthfully, he didn't have any STD's and he liked that she generally expected better of him.

She ran her hand up his length again, making sure he didn't go soft on her. "I'm not on the pill, so..."

"Aren't you trying to get pregnant?" That question brought up too many complexities that they weren't willing to talk about.

She raised an eyebrow.

"Then what's the problem?" He took her hand off of him. "You don't have any STD's, do you?"

"No." She withdrew her hand and sighed in thought. "Okay. But you'd better not regret this."

"I won't!" He replied enthusiastically. He waited as she decided what to do.

A curious smile crossed her face as she leaned forward to kiss him. It was soft and slow, and their tongues pressed against each other patiently. His hand stroked down her stomach to her panties, only to meet her hand there. Together, they pulled the white lace to her knees. She sat up to quickly remove them the rest of the way, as well as his boxers.

She straddled him again, hovering over him. "Ready?" She asked, her hands flat on his chest.

"Yeah." He helped her slide onto him, guiding her hips as she closed her eyes. The look of bliss on her face told him that she felt as amazing as he did. Her legs, strong around him. Her hands, soft and nurturing. Her face, mouth open, cheeks flushed. Everything else was hot and wet and tight, and he couldn't think at all.

He didn't move a muscle until she shifted on him. Leaned forward, back, forward. And then she rocked her pelvis back, pulling out halfway, and then pushing forward back onto him.

House reached forward and cupped a breast, and liked that so much that he grabbed the other one. Then, he noticed one of her hands rubbing her clit and decided that he should probably do that, since she was doing all the work anyway.

Cuddy smiled briefly when he took control, and then went back to focusing on her in-and-out.

After a while, he grabbed her hips. "Stop." He tried to flip them over himself but she wouldn't let him. "Let me be on top for a little while."

"No," she said, between breaths. "Thigh...get...hurt." She shook her head, and the morning sun reflected off the beads of sweat on her face.

"I'll be fine." She was already tired, and he knew he could really finish them off. "Just let me."

"No!" She whined.

House hated whining, especially in bed. "Well, how am I going to tell the whole hospital that I fucked Lisa Cuddy if you're sittin' here, doing all the work?" He hadn't really thought about it, seeing nothing wrong with his words immediately after he said them.

"Fine!" She threw herself off of him and on the other side of the bed, on her back. "Sprain your damn leg."

She was crossing her arms over her breasts, which was inspiring to House. He pinned her arms to the bed so she couldn't move, something he'd always wanted to do.

"Stop it!" She pulled at her arms.

"Can't." He kissed her neck and prepared to enter her again.

"No!!" She flailed and kicked until he let go of her. "Not like that." She placed her arms at her sides. "Okay. Continue."

"Are you okay?" He touched her hair, and kissed her to remind her of what they felt.

"Yeah." She shrugged. "Just fuck me."

Her tone seemed to mock him, and the indifference was getting more than a little annoying. He wondered if he'd done anything that awful just by suggesting that they switch positions. He didn't mean to degrade her or anything, but with women- he never knew how they would take a simple gesture.

House figured he could get her back into the mood by rubbing her clit and sucking on her neck. He started to press into her, and then pulled away to open her legs a little more. "Ready?"

"Yeah." She sounded exasperated.

_Damn it. What's wrong with her? _It wasn't nice to hold grudges during sex. He wasn't thinking clearly and couldn't help what came out of his mouth.

He pushed into her anyway, watching her face. She barely twitched. He moved faster, trying to excite her, but it didn't work. She lay still, touching his arms.

"Come on, Cuddy." He grunted. He was almost there, and he didn't want to let go without her.

"Oh. Right." She said bitterly. Immediately she moaned and began faking the most obnoxious fake orgasm he'd ever experienced. Between tossing her head and making loud noises, she managed to clench down on him _just right_. With the additional friction he came, falling on top of her.

Cuddy waited for a few seconds and then pushed him off of her. "Done?"

"No." _Does she have to be such a bitch about it?_ He breathed into the pillow and lifted his head. "What's wrong?"

She didn't say anything at first, finding her underwear and putting it on. "I just think I misunderstood you."

He groaned. _Women. _She was just trying to make him feel better with nice words. "What are you thinking?"

She turned away, her back towards him as she pretended to look for her clothing. "I'm thinking...that the only reason you want to have sex with me is so you can tell everyone else about it."

"I just said that." He didn't mean it.

She paced the room, too embarrassed to let him see the naked front of her. He rolled over. "What are you doing?"

"Leaving." Proving her point, she exited the room. She was back soon, though, with her bra on. "I told you that I liked you."

"I told you that I loved you," he retorted, looking for his boxers. _Where'd she put them?_

"You took it back." She slipped on her shirt.

"No!" He yelled in protest. He crawled forward, holding the sheet to his skin. "I meant it."

"No, you didn't." She sat down on the edge of the bed, running her hands through her hair.

"Yeah, I did." He touched her hand hesitantly. "And I didn't say it just to get you into bed." _Although it helped._

She turned towards him, warming up to him a little bit. "So, do you want to be in a relationship or just friends with benefits or something else?" Finally, she looked at him with an expression that wasn't a glare.

"I don't know, Cuddy!" He hated that question almost as much as he hated the relationship label. He'd already had that unfortunate experience with Stacy, and he definitely didn't want the same thing to happen with Cuddy. "Right now, I just want you to get back into bed." Cuddy hadn't orgasmed and he wasn't going to leave her unsatisfied during their first time.

"House," She shook her head, reluctantly pulling her legs onto the bed. "You've already gotten what you want. You can go to work now, telling Wilson and Chase and everyone that you screwed the boss. Congratulations."

She was right. He couldn't wait to see the looks on their faces. But he wasn't finished with Cuddy yet. "It's not that simple. Yeah, I'm going to brag. But I'm having way too much fun to let you go now." She smiled and he scooted right next to her. "Believe me. I love you."

She took a deep breath in when his fingers slid between her thighs. "Okay?" He asked quietly. She didn't say anything, but she didn't seem mad. He moved his hand a little. It was already hot and sticky. He took off her panties and started to rub her between her legs. She moaned. "Like that?" He continued, kissing her. His other hand found her breast until he decided it was too squashed between their bodies. Then, he brought it up around her neck.

They stayed like that for a while- as he kept rubbing her and whispering and humming.

She placed a hand on his chest and kissed him.

He ran his lips over her cheek. "Forgive me?"

"Yes." She stared up at him.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes." She brought him back down on top of her for another deep kiss. She tried to keep him there, but he resisted and moved to her stomach with a smirk.

"House..." Her head rolled against the pillow, like his had done several minutes ago. "You don't have to..."

"Shhh." He made the noise against her clit and then covered it with his lips.

She moaned, "House."

Oh, this was going to be fun for him, especially if she continued to be this loud. He sunk two fingers deep into her, and then pulled out, teasing her with a few shallow thrusts. He pushed them in again, this time curling around, pressing hard, trying to find...

She groaned and kicked a leg out.

"There." He told himself, tickling her there a bit.

He licked her clit and she gasped. "God, House, I'm..."

He kept moving his fingers in and out, trying to hit the same spot every time. Sometimes he missed, but when he hit it exactly, he could feel her muscles contract around his fingers.

He kissed her clit. Kissed, then licked, then sucked. And then she came, lifting her hips up to his face.

He kept his fingers moving throughout the last of the clenches, as he moved up her body (tasting a nipple, of course).

"Thank you." She held him close, pulling at the skin of his chest. "Thank you. That was amazing."

_So are you. _"Yeah." He kissed her, his arms wrapping around her. "So, we're staying in bed all day?"

She laughed and poked him. "No way. We'll go in at twelve."

"You can't take _one_ day off?" They finally slept together! The whole hospital should get a fucking holiday.

"Nope." She stroked his cheek. "I have work to do and you have to talk to Wilson."

House did want to talk to his best friend, but he certainly could call him from home. Even better- have him come over and see Cuddy and House behaving like a couple in the flesh. "I'm too tired." He buried his head in a pillow and pretended to snore.

She hit him playfully. "Get up." He felt her legs shift next to his.

"No!" House 'woke up' and trapped her between his arms. "Stay here."

She smiled up at him.

"You're really beautiful when you smile," he told her. _I'm in a romantic mood today...weird._

She gave him an even cheesier smile.

"Not that kind." He leaned over her and brushed his lips over her collar bone.

"You know..." She grabbed his jaw and kissed him, wrinkling her nose. "This stubble is really getting to me."

He smirked. "Getting to you in a away that make you want to jump me?"

"No..." She rubbed her own chin. "It's more like I don't want to be marred across the face when I go to work."

"I will try..." He kissed her very lightly. "...to be more careful."

"I think it's very sexy, though." She stared at him, smouldering, and hooked a leg around his hip.

"Hmmm..." He wanted to kiss her, but he could see the skin around her lips starting to turn red. "I think I have to start shaving, if I want to kiss you other places." He touched between her legs, so she knew exactly what he meant.

"Hey!" She swatted at his hand. "That...um...sounds good." She seemed really distracted, shifting around in the bed, looking for something. "Where are my panties?"

"Umm." _I have to find them before she does! Where did I put them? _He checked on his side of the bed. They were crumbled in a ball next to his sheet. House grabbed them. "Here they are." He played with them for a minute.

"May I have them?" Cuddy asked impatiently.

"No." House shoved them in the crevice between his headboard and the wall. "You'll never get them. Don't even try."

Of course, she didn't listen to him. "House!" She scrambled up to peek over the headboard. "I can't even see them. You have to move the bed."

House laughed. _Yeah, right. _"Cuddy, this thing literally weighs a ton. I'm not moving it. You can go to work panty-less."

"I cannot!" She insisted.

"You're wearing pants. No one will notice." _Except me. When I take them off of you._

"That's gross." She made a face of disgust. "That's how you get yeast infections, you know."

"You have been lied to, Cuddy." Okay, so House didn't really know if it was true or not, but he supposed that Cuddy kept her pants clean enough not to get some sort of bacterial infection.

She put a hand over her eyes. "I can't believe this."

As Cuddy contemplated her humility, House tugged her back down on the bed. He nuzzled her breasts, and then sucked at her cleavage. "I think..." he said, in between wet kisses, "...we should eat stuff off of each other." He paused. "I could just eat ice cream off of you right now." He took a bite out of her stomach. "Chocolate, preferrably."

"Okay," she said nervously. "Is this one of your fantasies?"

"Yep." He kissed her abdomen. "One of many."

"You should make a list." She twirled her fingers into his hair, and pulled him back up. "I might do some of them."

"Really?" He kissed her, forgetting about the burn he was leaving on her.

The sound of a door opening came from the other room.

Cuddy jumped, hogging the blanket by pulling it over her. "Damn it. Who is that?"

"Give me some." House pulled some of the blanket towards him. _At least Cuddy has some clothes on. I'm completely naked. _Footsteps moved around his apartment, stopping in front of the closed door leading to House's bedroom.

"House?" A familiar voice asked.

Cuddy and House both let out a sigh of relief, "Wilson."


	2. Chapter 2

_Previously..._

_The sound of a door opening came from the other room._

_Cuddy jumped, hogging the blanket by pulling it over her. "Damn it. Who is that?"_

_"Give me some." House pulled some of the blanket towards him. At least Cuddy has some clothes on. I'm completely naked. Footsteps moved around his apartment, stopping in front of the closed door leading to House's bedroom._

_"House?" A familiar voice asked._

_House let out a sigh of relief, "Wilson."_

Chapter 2

"Wilson?!" Cuddy shrieked and leaped out of House's arms and off of the bed, pulling the sheet with her. "Damn it, House! I need my panties!" She peeked behind the bed, observing the white fabric on the floor. _I'll never be able to get them!_

House was lying completely naked and exposed on the bed. He swung his legs over the bed and limped over to her. "I need some covers too." He barely covered up his lower body before Wilson opened the door.

At the sight of Cuddy and House, Wilson doubled over and covered his eyes. "Oh my God! House!" He turned around and chuckled. "Cuddy!"

Cuddy could hear him laughing. "Stop it, Wilson. It's not funny."

"What are you doing here?" House asked, trying to tug a little more of the sheet onto him.

Wilson laughed again, "I'm...I'm here to check on you. It's nearly lunchtime, you know."

Cuddy tried to sneak around Wilson to get her clothes. House stopped her, wrapping an arm around her waist and wrestling her to the ground. This, Wilson had to look at. "What are you guys doing?"

House was on top of her on the wooden floor, holding her down with his arm pressed into her stomach. "We sooooo did not have sex," he said, grinning up at Wilson.

"House!" She tried to sound as angry as possible, knowing that she wasn't really mad, but she should be.

"What?!" He pretended not to know why she was mad. "I wanted to make sure that you know I didn't have sex with you just to brag to Wilson."

She closed her eyes, torn between the fact that what he said was really sweet and that he'd just actually told Wilson that they'd had sex.

Then again, he would have to find out sometime.

Wilson was impressed. "Wow." He stepped right over them. "You two are really..."

"Yeah," House answered. "Don't worry. I'm sure that she'll share custody of me." He turned to Cuddy. "Amber and I made up a schedule when he started doing her."

Cuddy watched Wilson for signs of sadness or anger at the mention of Amber's name, but only found a glimmer in his eyes. "We don't have to do that," she told him.

"Sure." Wilson's eyebrows were still raised in amusement. "So, are you going to get up, or do you want me to tell everyone that you're going to be out for the day?"

House opened his mouth to voice his preference for the second option, but Cuddy spoke before him. "We'll be in." She smiled at Wilson.

House started to get up, but Cuddy yanked him back down. He groaned.

"Do you think you could give us some privacy?" She asked Wilson.

"Of course." Wilson backed out of the room, still smiling as he closed the door.

Cuddy shoved House off of her as soon as the coast was clear. "I can't believe that Wilson is here!" She searched frantically for her pants. "I can't believe any of this!" She found her pants near the closet, and pulled them on before he stood up.

He slowly put on his boxers while she calmed down and tried to fix her hair and makeup.

She deemed herself decent, and then looked down at her clothes. _Shit. _"House?"

"Yeah." He hobbled over to her.

She wanted to hug him and feel warm again. He had been strong and protective when everything was so new and scary. But she didn't know what was exactly appropriate for this situation. "I can't want to wear this back to work," she hinted awkwardly.

For once he was mature, although from the smile on his face she could tell he was holding back a smart aleck-y comment. "Oh." He placed a hand on her back and she almost felt like they were a couple. She leaned into him slightly.

House opened the drawers of his dresser, and dug through the clothes. "Lots of t-shirts. Nothing you'd want to wear." He shut the drawers and limped to his closet. "Let's see..." He sifted through a few dress suits, and then withdrew with a flowery old dress in hand.

"I can't wear that," she said. It was a pretty dress, but much too girly for her work-attire. She was supposed to look like a boss, and flowers did not work with that image.

"I know," he said, playing with the fabric in his hands. "Just try it on."

"We don't have time," she said. Her words were contradicted by her fingers, which were unbuttoning her pants again. She was curious about the only article of women's clothing that House possessed. He helped her pull the shirt over her head, and then promptly slid the dress over her face.

Cuddy coughed in surprise; it was a bit musty. "Tell me this isn't a dress from one of your hookers." She adjusted the armholes.

House let out a booming laugh. "It's my mother's."

"Oh!" Cuddy wasn't sure what to think about that, other than that it was a really old dress.

"She wore it to her funeral," House explained calmly.

"What?!" _Oh my God. I'm wearing a dead woman's dress._

House laughed again. "I'm just kidding." He helped her tie the string belt around her back. "You know my mother's not dead," he said with an exasperated voice.

Wilson knocked at the door. "Everything okay in there?"

"We're just finding something for Cuddy to wear," House answered.

"Did she come here naked?" Wilson asked, confused. "Wait, no. Don't answer that."

"No!!" Cuddy replied anyway. "I just don't want to wear the same clothes back to the hospital. There would be certain implications..."

"I get it," he stopped her in the interest of time, "If you hurry, we can stop by your house on the way there," Wilson offered through the door.

"That would be nice." Cuddy pulled at the straps of the dress. "We have to get this off."

"You know I'm not very good at hurrying." House grabbed her waist, enjoying the view. He couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of her. "Stop eavesdropping!" He yelled to the door. "We'll be out in a minute!"

"How does it look?" Cuddy asked, biting her lip. She knew it was a bit large on her, as she could feel the excess fabric swishing around her hips. But it was important to make a good impression on the dress so she could make a good impression on House's mother. (As if the two had some weird sort of connection.)

House rubbed her hips with his thumbs, smilling at her strangely. He kissed her softly.

He didn't have to say anything, and she knew exactly how he felt. "Really?" The way he was looking at her- she might as well have been naked. She combed a few fingers through her hair, trying to appear as sexy as possible.

"Yeah." He lead her to a chair in the corner and sat down.

She held onto his hands as he glanced over her again. Wilson, alone and impatient in the living room, crossed her mind.

House yanked her down onto his lap, interrupting her thoughts. He winced.

"House." She shifted onto his good leg, caressing the other. "Love you," she whispered into his neck.

His hand avoided hers as it massaged the pain out of his leg.

She knew he was feeling better when she felt his hand up the dress on the side of her thigh. "We have to go," she reminded him.

"Just a little longer." He tilted his forehead into hers and kissed her again. This time, his tongue pressed sweetly into her mouth. She gave in, distracted, for God knows how long as his hands rubbed her to arousal. One of them was squeezing her ass, the other stroking the wetness in between her legs, so she was literally sandwiched between his hands.

"I can't believe I missed this," House said, spreading his hand out to cup her ass, and then squeezing each cheek individually.

"You were preoccupied," she said dreamily as she shifted to feel his erection on her thigh.

"Yeah," he remembered, staring down the gape in the flowing dress at her cleavage.

She moaned, absolutely hot for him. Her eyelids fluttered and she grinded down on his thigh. After only a few minutes, she was nearly to orgasm.

A knock came at the door. "I'm leaving," Wilson announced.

"No!" She moaned again. She knew she should get up and see her baby and go to work, but the heat between them was too strong.

House felt her attempt to pull away and forced her hand to his bulging crotch. "Just go, Wilson. We'll be in. Sometime."

"I knew I couldn't trust you two alone," Wilson sighed.

House kissed Cuddy, pleading.

She pried herself off of him and stood up to open the door.

House groaned, leaning back in the chair.

Wilson looked in at House, who wasn't even bothering to hide his erection. He turned to Cuddy, "Are you wearing that to work?"

"No." She didn't want to take it off though, seeing the effect it had on House. _The dress will always be here. Rachel won't. The board meeting won't._

"It's my mother's wedding dress." House covered his eyes, trying to picture something else.

"It's her wedding dress?" Cuddy looked down. It was so faded now, but she supposed it could have been white at some time.

"Why are you wearing it?" Wilson asked her.

Cuddy looked to House.

"I wanted to see her in a wedding dress!" House, somewhat less aroused at the very sound of Wilson's voice, stood up. He wrapped his arms around Cuddy.

Cuddy took a deep breath. "Tell me this is a wedding dress thing. And not the fact that it's your mother's." She was starting to feel like an intruder, wearing the dress. It was someone else's _wedding dress, _something that was picked out to be be special forever, and here Cuddy was wearing it without even knowing or recognizing the significance of it.

"Just the wedding dress," House reassured her, his lips on her ear.

"Are you getting married?" Wilson asked with wide eyes.

Cuddy blushed, shrinking into House. _I didn't even think..._

House replied for them, "Of course not. I'm not you. I don't get married after one morning of mind-blowing sex."

_Mind-blowing. _Cuddy smiled softly, liking the sound of that. Sure, she agreed, but she hadn't known that he felt the same way.

"What about the twenty years you spent as friends?" Wilson seemed like he didn't believe them.

"Doesn't count until you sleep together."

Cuddy could practically feel the arrogance radiating off of him, and frowned. It was just habit, even though she knew he was kidding.

House felt her move slightly, and tightened his arms around her. "It's just a fantasy!" He fisted a handful of fabric at her stomach and kissed her neck. "One that we will definitely be adding to our list."

Wilson shook his head. "I don't want to know."

"Ask about the list!" House encouraged enthusiastically.

"Don't." Cuddy gently pushed House away. "We have to go. You should talk about this when I'm not in the room." If it was inevitable that Wilson would hear all the details, then she didn't want to be around to be embarrassed. Also, she missed Rachel and now her role as hospital administrator was calling her more than House's body.

Unsurprisingly, House made a whining sound.

"I promise I'll change this time," she told Wilson.

"Not a chance." He leaned against the doorway. "I'm not falling for that again." He eyed House pointedly.

"You're going to watch me change?" She swallowed, knowing that she didn't have any panties on. She, too, looked to House for help.

"I'm going to keep House off of you," Wilson said, emphasizing this point by forcing House's fingers off of her. "You need to get dressed too."

"Not until Cuddy does." House bitterly stepped away and kept his eyes trained on her.

"Okay." _I have to be the mature one again. _She scooped her pants up off of floor and slid her legs into the holes. She made sure that the dress hung over and covered her as she pulled the pants up. She kept a close eyes on Wilson and House, confirming that they couldn't see anything. Wilson helped to pull the dress over her head, his eyes avoiding her breasts for the sake of modesty, even though she still had a bra on.

House folded his arms across his chest. "Those are mine," he said, indicating her breasts.

Wilson was instantly embarrassed, but Cuddy didn't really mind him seeing her. It would have been much more awkward if she thought that he desired her sexually, but she was pretty sure they had a brother-sister relationship, or at least two good friends who didn't think of each other like that. She hurried to tug on her shirt anyway. "I'm ready."

Wilson was still shielding his vision for some reason, and House shrugged and looked around as if he had nothing to do.

_Where's my purse? _"I'm gonna go. I'll meet you guys at the hospital."

House appeared sad for a moment, his eyebrows tilting upward.

She kissed his cheek. "I'll see you there."

He lingered close to her. "We'll wait for you out front. To walk in together."

"Speak for yourself." Wilson scoffed.

Cuddy understood. She'd taken a lot of unnecessary time out of his work day already. "Get dressed," she told House.

"No. I'm going to work like this," He said sarcastically and pointed down to his boxers with an annoyed expression.

She rolled her eyes and left. She paused just out of the doorway, expecting and then hearing House and Wilson begin to gossip like the little girls they were.

* * *

There wasn't a silent moment as House got dressed. His bragging lead to Wilson's lecturing, which in turn pissed House off. He didn't want to hear or think about any consequences.

And Wilson- who'd always been pushing House and Cuddy together- seemed to find a lot of faults with their relationship.

It wasn't fair. House wanted to revel in his accomplishment. He brooded on the ride to work, staring out the window as Wilson explained exactly how Cuddy was going to get hurt. "Even though you're off the Vicodin," he was saying, "which is great, by the way, but Cuddy thinks you're going to be a completely different person. And you're not."

_How the hell does he know what Cuddy is thinking?_ House didn't say anything of that sort. "At least I'm getting some." He had to pretend like he didn't care.

"You're not in a relationship? It's just sex?" Wilson raised an eyebrow.

"Of course." _When did I decide that? _House gritted his teeth and kept his eyes on the green landscape flying by. He hated the "relationship" word. _Why does everyone have to call it that? He'd better not talk to Cuddy about this._

"Does Cuddy know this?"

"I don't know. We haven't had much time to talk being _interrupted _in the middle of wild, animal sex." He sounded good, like he was completely in control of everything.

"Do you know that you're not in a relationship?"

Actually, he wasn't sure. He preferred not to think about it. "Yes. Me, myself, and I had a long discussion about it and we think it's the way to go."

"Good luck telling Cuddy that you're just in it for the sex." Wilson shook his head.

House winced. Cuddy was definitely not going to like that bit of information. He wished that she would just expect the worst of him, so she would be pleasantly surprised rather than disappointed. House then decided that he would wait to discuss it with her, just until he was sure of himself.

They pulled into PPTH and Wilson got out of the car, House right behind him. Wilson stopped in the doorway. "Aren't you going to wait for Cuddy?"

House peered out at the motionless parking lot. "She'll find us."

* * *

Cuddy slipped into his office a few hours later, speechless. She was carrying a sleeping Rachel in a sling around her neck.

He looked up at her. "Bring your baby to work day?"

"No," she paused. "I couldn't bear to leave her at home." She touched Rachel's head. "It's only a half-day and the nanny's been working so hard..."

"TMI!" House screeched, tipping back on his chair.

"What is the matter with you?" She whispered, as to not wake her baby. "I thought you were going to wait for me, and now you're being all distant..." _Oh God, it's already happening. He's regretting everything._

He stood up. "Distant?" He hobbled over to her and kissed her. "How's that?"

She smacked her lips together. "Better."

"Not my best..." He leaned against his desk. "But you've got a kid strapped to you, so..."

"Yeah." She looked down at Rachel again. _Okay, he's still holding back a little. Nothing like we were this morning. Maybe it's Rachel. Maybe he can't handle my baggage. _"Do you have a case?"

"Yep." He patted the manila folder on his desk. "Seventeen year old girl with vitreous fluid coming out of her nose. Oh, and a rash that's from Africa, but she's never left Philly."

She wanted to scream 'TMI!' at him in revenge, but she figured that she'd better set a good example, as an employer and a mother. "Is she having sex?"

House rolled his eyes. "They're always having sex."

She opened her mouth to ask about the tests, but he interrupted, "Taken care of."

"Results?" She swayed as she felt Rachel waking up, and she promptly fell back asleep.

"None yet." House flipped furiously through a tiny notebook on his desk, and then began scribbling something.

"At least she's not dying," Cuddy offered, looking around. _It's so quiet in here. It's never quiet._

House tapped his pencil on the desk. "She may go blind."

_Yeah, that sucks. _"What are you doing?"

"Making a list of our fantasies," he said, nonchalantly. He casually flipped through the book.

"Give me that." She snatched it from him. "Eat ice-cream off of Cuddy," she read and nodded, "Cuddy in a wedding dress," _Okay, already established that one. _"Bend Cuddy over the kitchen table." She raised her eyebrow at this, and the next one, "Tie Cuddy to the bed." She laughed and crossed 'Cuddy' out and put 'House'. "Sex in public. Pretty standard. Sex in Cuddy's office." She crossed that one off. "Blow job at work." She drew a line through that one, but only very lightly so that it could be erased. The next one had been written in very recently, "Breastfeeding." She laughed. "You know I can't do that, right? I'm not actually lactating."

"This one..." He ran his hand over her breast, cupping it and brushing his finger over the nipple. "is just for me. No milk involved please." He ruffled Rachel's hair gently. "Thanks for the inspiration, kid."

"Yeah," Cuddy sighed, and placed her hand on Rachel's head, where House's had just been. She handed the list back to him.

"Why aren't you mad?" He demanded.

"What?" She felt Rachel begin to wake up a little, and bounced her around the room.

"I'm making a list of _sex fantasies _instead of doing clinic duty," He bragged, following her.

She shrugged and kissed her baby. "I'm just tired. Maybe I'll be mad tomorrow."

"Too tired for fantasies?" He frowned, holding up the list.

"I don't know." She ignored his worried expression and walked to the window, holding Rachel up to look at the rain. "What happens when we don't have any fantasies left?"

"There will always be fantasies," he reassured, stepping a few feet away from her.

"You know what I'm asking," she said softly, "Are we just going to be sex?" _Because I don't know if I can do that._

"Yes, hopefully, we will always have sex..."

"Stop avoiding the question!" She said, angrily. "I'm so tired of this..." She covered Rachel's ears. "...bull-shit."

House leaned forward and rested all of his weight on his cane. "Calm down, Cuddy. You're going to make a scene."

She didn't know if he was joking, or actually trying to press her buttons, but she could literally feel the anger building inside of her, just about to explode. "Why don't you just tell me now and get it over with? Just so I can feel hurt for a moment, instead of waiting in torturous agony!"

He wrinkled his brow. "Who have you been talking to?"

She took a few deep breaths, and calmed herself. "No one. Why?"

"You're singing a different tune than you were this morning..." He twirled his cane casually in his hands. "Don't you trust me?"

He was right- for some reason, she'd felt a lot more comfortable alone with him at home, than she did here in this hospital, where he was only a pompous ass trying to break her heart. "You're the one who's different!" She held Rachel tightly, and withdrew away from him. "You said you would wait. And then you weren't there."

"Seriously? It wasn't that big of a deal. And look- you managed all on your own!" He mocked her.

"But you said you would wait!" Her voice was just loud enough to make Rachel cry. "Damn it." She sat down on the couch and rocked Rachel and patted her back.

"You're crazy." House sat on the edge of his desk, facing her. "If I'd known you'd be this pissed, I just would have waited. But then I didn't see any point in it and then Wilson kept saying, 'If you stay, you'll be in a relationship with her.'"

"This is your way of telling me that you don't want to be in a relationship? Nice." She shifted on the couch, and prayed that Rachel would stop crying.

"That's what I said to Wilson." He sat next to her. "I don't always tell Wilson the truth."

"Please, stop crying." She whispered to Rachel, feeling a few tears well up in her own eyes. Rachel quieted momentarily, allowing a few whines to escape as Cuddy pressed her to her chest. "Do you still love me?"

He shifted away from her, and she knew the romance was short-lived. He kept his leg barely touching hers on the couch as he faced forward.

She rolled her eyes and pushed away a tear that had fallen. "And men say women are complex." God, did men ever say what they meant? Although she hadn't been completely honest with House about her feelings over the years, at least she meant it when she said she loved him. It must have been the endorphins overloading lust onto his brain. _I am so_ s_tupid! _She sighed frustrated. He was just like the rest of them. Except it hurt more because he was supposed to be different.

"I'm not complex." House crossed his arms, and refused to look at her. "I like sex. I'm a jerk. It's that simple."

She couldn't believe that. Not after the previous morning. But her naivete just made her feel like a small little schoolgirl with a crush. Maybe that's all she really was. "I still feel the same way." He should know, so he could have all the information before dumping her. At least then he'd feel a little guilty, even if he didn't show it. "I'm not giving up. Do you think you could be kind of a grown-up for a minute and tell me if that's a stupid idea?"

"That's a stupid idea," he said, before she could even finish the question.

"Great." She took a hand off of Rachel and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "You're in a pitiful, I-don't-deserve-anything-good House kind of mood."

"Hey." He still didn't look at her, his stone cold stare set across the room.

"It's the truth." She paused and pretended to think, watching him. "You were fine this morning, after sex. What happened? Is this work environment so terrible that it brings you into a pit of depression? Am I not doing enough for your self-esteem? Maybe we should hire another resident to stroke your ego-"

"Shut up." He nudged her with his shoulder, annoyed. "Don't be catty. It doesn't suit you."

_He's so hypocritical! _She wanted to yell at him, but she knew it wouldn't do any good. She placed her hand back around Rachel, hugging her, but not too tightly. _You're all I have. _She couldn't deal with House's mood swings anymore. It was just killing her maternal buzz. She decided to talk about something that would hopefully lift House's spirits a little. "So, Wilson knows. Have you told anyone else?"

He shook his head. "Didn't think you'd want me to."

"I didn't think there would be any stopping you..."

"So I can?!" He finally turned his head to look at her, excited. Before she could answer, he was up on his feet, paging all of his residents.

"House, I didn't say..." It took her a long time to stand up with Rachel.

"Shh!" He brought her to stand with him against his desk. "When I tell them, I want you to be here."

It felt nice to be included again, but she had to watch out. His testimony wasn't reliable anymore. Of course, as dean of medicine, it was her duty to stop him from spilling any personal secrets that had nothing to do with work. She formulated a plan in her head.

The residents all entered at the same time, as usual.

"Dr. Cuddy." Kutner straightened up, nervous, but the other two remained curious as usual.

Before House could blurt out the words, she slapped her hand against him mouth, careful to balance Rachel in her other arm. He worked to remove it, but she was too fast. "There's no stopping him, but I just wanted to tell you that whatever House says in the next few minutes is a lie, and you should by no means take it seriously." House licked her hand and she squirmed. "Also, I ask that you repeat none of it. And, please," She looked to the ceiling as if praying, "don't judge me."

She pulled out her hand before House could bite down on the two fingers that had slipped into his mouth.

His hair askew, and his mouth covered in saliva, it all came out in one breath, "Cuddy- our boss- and I had wildly raunchy, ravishing sex this morning, in which I gave her the orgasm of her life, and she screwed my brains out." He patted Cuddy on the shoulder. "I think that takes care of it all."

She smirked at the confused faces of the residents, and made a move for the door. "Actually, you forgot the part about how incredibly well-endowed you are." She gave him the sexiest smile she could muster with a baby in her hands, and left the room.

She heard him yell something about 'tonight', but she couldn't bring herself to care anymore. She was too full with the glee of actually saying what she wanted.

* * *

A/N: So this is going to become my go-to fic for Huddy smut. Like whenever I want to write smut, it's going to go here. :) ^^ You can see how I set it up so it won't be hard.

I'm not much for plot (with this story, at least), but next chapter will have a little resolution, and a cute Huddy moment. And then smut, probably.

I promise that I will update my other story sometime soon. I have to finish writing that chapter, which will delay the update for this story a bit.

Review, please! I LOVE them. (Hopefully, I took care of that Wilson reaction that everyone was waiting for.)

And always, thanks for reading.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I don't own the characters! Also, this is mostly smut. But with some cute stuff and a little angst. Enjoy.**

Chapter 3

House opened the door to Cuddy's house, a paper grocery bag full of apologies in his hand. He wandered through her hallways. She wasn't in the living room or kitchen, but a distinct maternal hum and soft movements assured him of her presence.

The smell of baby powder diffused through the air and House wrinkled his nose. He followed the scent to Cuddy's bathroom where she was playing with a newly-bathed Rachel on the floor. Towels were doubled-stacked to a five foot diameter all around Rachel. The infant rested on the softest bed of towels, gurgling at her mother's fingers.

House stopped at the doorway, not wanting to disturb their peace. "That's a bit excessive."

Cuddy looked up and smiled warmly, as if she was expecting him, and then lowered her lashes to give him that knowing look. "She might roll onto the hard floor."

House raised an eyebrow and took one step into the room. "She can barely hold her head up. How is she going to roll five feet?"

"Any day," Cuddy sighed and watched her baby, "she might start. I have to be ready." She looked back up to House. "Do you want to sit with us?"

He lifted his cane as an excuse. "Not so good with the standing up. I'll meet you in the living room."

Cuddy laughed. "It's just a baby. She won't hurt you."

"I know!" He stared at Rachel warily. "But anything that stands between me and sex is pure evil."

Cuddy chuckled a little and touched one of Rachel's hands with her finger. "That's not the only thing standing between you and sex."

"What else? Your sense of logic and reasoning?" He asked, knowing it was the truth. "I've got something to win it over." He patted his bag.

She sat up quickly, now noticing the bag dangling from his fingertips. "What's in there?"

"It's a surprise." He held the edges shut so she couldn't peek. "You'll get it after you put the little demon to bed."

Cuddy contemplated her choice as she ran her fingers over Rachel's belly. "I don't get to spend much time with her," she said in a regretful tone, "But she is almost asleep." She eyed House's grocery bag again, curiosity getting the best of her, and swung Rachel up into her arms gently. "I'll be right there." Rachel's hair grazed House's arm as Cuddy whizzed by him.

Her eagerness pleased him. Deciding to bribe her more often in the future, he trudged to her living room, and collapsed on a chair.

She appeared a long fifteen minutes later, cheer and curious. "What did you bring?" She sat next to him, placing her hands on the couch very close to his leg.

He shifted towards her as he reached into the bag. "Just a few things that I think you'll enjoy." He pulled out a handful of fabric familiar to her- his mother's wedding dress that she'd tried on in the morning. "I don't have anyone else to give it to, and it's been gathering dust for years in my closet."

"Thanks, House." He knew she was only pretending to be grateful, as her soft smile displayed less-than enthusiasm, and her eyes revealed disappointment. "You should really keep it, though. It should stay in your family."

She was practically begging the question, with her eyes all wide and hopeful. His fingers circled one of the flowers in the pattern on the dress. "My mother asked me to give it to my daughter, and you looked beautiful this morning..."

Unable to resist, she rested a hand on his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "Thanks. Maybe I'll give it to Rachel some day."

"Or you can just throw it away. I don't care. As long as I don't have to keep it." He looked away;the ancient embarassment of failure to provide any heir whatsoever affected him, surprisingly. He kept holding onto her.

"I won't throw it away." Her fingers danced along his throat, and then stroked the stubble at his cheek. "I'll take care of it."

"Yeah." He tilted his head forward, bumping his chin into the top of her head. "That's not all."

"Oh," she sat up to look at him, once again enthralled.

His hand disappeared into the bag, and he rooted around for what he was looking for. His mind traveled as he stared at her; he couldn't concentrate- something about her expression, her messy hair, or the teasingly low-cut robe.

After a few minutes, her eyebrows lowered in suspicion. "Do you need help finding it?" She reached for the bag. "Here, let him help look."

House, still dazed, moved just fast enough to hold the bag to his chest. "No. I don't want to ruin the surprise." He realized that his fingers had been running along the edge of her present all this time. He lifted his hand out, holding a notebook. Their notebook. With all of House's sex fantasies.

"House..." She took it from him, to be polite. "I'm sure you've come up with many more wild, creative fantasies- when you were supposed to be on clinic duty- but I just don't have the energy-"

"Give it to me." House snatched it from her and began flipping quickly through the pages.

"The dress was very thoughtful, and I know I want to keep...doing this, but I'm-"

House waved the notebook, half of the pages curled around the spiral, in front of her face. He placed it in the palm of her hand and she had no choice but to hold on to it.

"Please, House." She let her fingers hang limply over the notebook, as if it repulsed her. "I know you were trying to prove that the list of fantasies never ends, and you've done remarkably well. But for tonight, let's pretend that you're not just doing this to get your rocks off."

"Cuddy." He laughed and shook his head. "Read the list."

At first, her face fell at his persistent indifference to her feelings. Then, she realized that she may have spoken too soon and reluctantly looked down at the list. "Dance with Cuddy."

"Sans cane." House shifted, not so subtly stretching his arm around her. "Just so you know, most of these will probably never happen."

She nodded at him, without taking her eyes off the list. "Write Cuddy a song."

"You'll never hear it."

She coiled into him, her cheek pressed against his chest. "Why?"

"Not good enough." He touched the notebook. "Read the next one."

"Vacation, work with Cuddy in Italy." She waited for him to explain.

"Italians have more sex than anyone else on the planet." He snuck a hand into her robe and cupped her breast, rubbing his thumb over the nipple.

She rose forward into his touch, planting her lips on his neck. "I thought it was the...hmm...Greeks."

"Don't care." His mouth went into her hair, and then nudged her head to tilt up so he could kiss her forehead. "I always wanted to go to Italy. Thought I'd set a high expectation. But Greece is good, too."

She twisted her fingers into his shirt, and he could tell she was having trouble with her self-restraint. "Or Italy," she whispered, fingers slowly sliding down to his stomach, at the top of his pants.

His hand covered hers and moved it down, down to his crotch. "Don't take your time reading the rest of the list."

She squinted in the dim light and held the paper close to her face as she read. "Go out to dinner with Cuddy and Wilson." She paused, "Why do I feel like there's something more?"

"Let's not talk about Wilson when you're groping me." He felt the movement of her fingers slow until they were just resting over him. "Nooooo. That's not what I meant."

"Is this some sort of threesome thing? Because that should be on the other list..." Cuddy smiled, and then laughed at his horrified face.

"No. Don't you get any ideas either." He looked down uncomfortably. "Just thought we could go out to dinner. And you and Wilson could fight over custody of me."

"I think we'll be okay. We're agreeable people. Unlike you and Amber." She ran her free hand over his hair, massaging the short strands.

He wasn't worried that they wouldn't get along. He wanted them to fight over him. "Wilson doesn't think I can be in a relationship."

She tried to pull her hand off of him. "Wilson understands-"

"He doesn't." House held her hand firmly to his growing erection. "Like I said- it'll never happen."

She stopped resisting him, instead moving her fingers lightly over him. "He knows you."

It felt so good, until she started talking. "This is me, not talking about it," He paused, angrily, and thought about apologizing for snapping at her. "Hurry up and read the last one!"

She pouted for a moment, not wanting to drop the topic. But then she adjusted her robe, loosened the belt so he could see her breasts a little better, and his breaths fell softer. She picked up the notebook, her other hand still grazing him, and read the last 'fantasy'. "Give Cuddy a baby."

She dropped the notepad on the couch, and House tried to regulate his breathing. He knew it would be a touchy subject- one that would bring the most emotion to her, and he chose it purposefully. But now he couldn't see her face, making his predicament even more unnerving.

He did find it enjoyable when she jumped to straddle him, slamming her lips down on his. She wrapped her arms around his head and hugged him tightly. He ran his hands up her back, trying to concentrate.

Then, he remembered that he had more gifts for her. They were more selfish than his other gifts, though, as he would thoroughly enjoy them too. He eyed the paper bag that he'd brought and distracted her by groping her ass with one hand. The other hand snaked its way into the bag and grabbed one of his gifts.

He pressed it to her back, and a few seconds later, she yelped. "That's cold! What-" She turned around and saw the half-pint of ice cream in his hand. "Getting a jump start on our fantasy list?"

"I'm an over-acheiver." He pried her away from his body. "Just be patient. I've got a whole bag of goodies for us to play with."

"What else is in there?" She reached for the bag, and finally, he didn't stop her. She peered inside. "Whipped cream, cherries, chocolate syrup. I'd say we're making sundaes."

"Do you have a spoon?" He held up the ice cream. "I'd like to eat this before it melts."

She stood up with weary legs. "Kitchen?"

House joined her, carrying the big bag of aphrodisiac food. Cuddy placed two spoons on the counter, and then lifted herself up onto it, reaching for him. He slid the paper bag onto the counter and kissed her again to keep her occupied. His hands quickly unopened the lid to the ice cream and sunk a spoon into it. He turned his head momentarily to shove the spoon into his mouth, swallowing, and then returned to the kiss.

It took her only a few seconds to taste the sugar in his mouth and she broke the kiss. "I want some." She greedily dug her spoon into the ice cream. "Mmm. Mint."

"Like it?" He placed his hands on her knees, opening them so he could stand closer to her. Reflexively, her legs wrapped around his back.

"Yes." She took another bite.

He watched her eat the ice cream until he realized it was almost all gone. "Hey. My turn." He dug his spoon into the bottom of the pint, scraping at the milky remains. "Lean back."

"What?" She licked her lips.

"On the counter." He patted the granite surface to show where he wanted her.

"Okay." She leaned back, and he helped her, placing a hand on the back of her head so it wouldn't smack against the hard counter. He pushed her away from him, so her thighs were mostly on the counter, ensuing that she wouldn't fall off. He legs still dangled off the edge and rubbed against him playfully.

"Stool?" He asked, almost to himself as he spotted a couple at the end of the bar. He retrieved one, trying not to limp too much, and sat down on it in front of her.

She looked at him. "What are you doing?" She asked with bright, curious eyes.

"Eating ice cream," he replied. He untied the her robe and pushed it open. She was only wearing panties, and he attempted to hide his excitement at this, the corners of his lips twitching into a small smile. He took the ice cream and swirled it around with the spoon for a few seconds before deciding to just dump it on her stomach.

"House!" She gasped, moving her legs to escape the coldness, but he wouldn't let her go.

He dove in, lapping and sucking up everything he could. Most of the ice cream dripped down her sides and onto the counter, but he still got a good enough taste.

She was squirming by the time he licked her clean. "God, get up here!"

"Not done yet." He shook up the bottle of whipped cream and sprayed an even line just under her breasts.

She rose up on her elbows and lifted her head to look at him. His arm slid underneath her back and held her in place. He slurped it off of her, bumping his nose into her breast as often as possible. When he licked all the way up to her nipple, one of her legs banged reflexively against the cabinet beneath them. "Shit." She stopped House to listen. "We have to be quiet."

"She'll be fine...." House proceeded to squirt little puff of whipped cream wherever he felt like kissing. As soon as he pulled the can away from her skin, he covered the sugary foam with his lips and sucked.

Cuddy let her head thump back against the counter and rewound her fingers into his hair. "If she starts crying, I have to go to her. It doesn't matter if we're both on the brink of the most incredible orgasm of our lives."

"No fair." All the sugar was making House sick, so he set the can on the counter and decided to just play with her nipples. He pinched them lightly, his fingers sliding as the skin was already wet from his mouth. He bit and pulled and kissed until she stopped him.

"That's enough," she said, sitting up. "Bedroom?"

"Can we bring this stuff?" He held up the can of whipped cream.

"Sure." She pushed him backward so she could hop off the counter.

"And the cherries. And the chocolate syrup." House loaded it all up in his arms.

"No."Cuddy started to put her robe back on, and House- with all the food in his hands- was powerless to stop her. "I don't want to get my sheets all sticky."

"I'm not done with it," House carried on, determined. When he got to her room, he dumped it all on the bed. "You can buy new sheets."

"Let me get the comforter." She lifted the objects, one-by-one, and pulled the comforter off. "There." She stared at him, her eyes moving up and down. "Let's get you out of those clothes."

"And you out of yours." As she undid the first button on his shirt, he pulled on the string of her robe, and it opened again.

"We've already done me." Cuddy tore through the buttons, stopping when she could slide it off. She removed his undershirt too. "That's much better." She ran her hands over his chest.

"I'm not done with you," he reiterated. "I still have cherries and chocolate syrup to use. And almost a whole can of whipped cream."

"You don't have to," she whispered as she unbuckled his belt. She unbuttoned and unzipped his pants but left them on. Her hand fingered the top of his boxers. "I'm ready, whenever you are."

"Just get on the bed." She complied and he moved slowly to rest on top of her. "Good," he groaned. Damn, he hated how difficult it was for him to move. Cuddy still seemed to love him. She took him into her arms and kissed his neck until he was ready to move again. He reached for the cherries and popped open the lid. "Now, what should I do with these?"

Cuddy opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue. House placed one cherry on it.

"It's delicious," she commented. "Try one." She fed him one.

He chewed on it for an abnormally long time, rolling it between his teeth. "Some things are more delicious," he said, after a while. He took two cherries from the jar and grinned, pushing his hand between her legs.

"No." She shook her head. "Not going to happen."

He moved down her body and he brought his hand back up, letting the cherry juice fall on her skin. He licked it up before it would spill on her sheets.

"House, if you lose one, I could get all sorts of bacterial infections. Not to mention all of the _other _gross things that would be eating me out," she shivered in disgust.

"I'm not going to lose one," he said, his fingers already pushing the cherries up into her body. "I won't forget about a cherry in your vagina."

"This is so inappropriate." She rested a hand on her forehead.

He tapped her leg. "Just sit back and enjoy." She sighed, and he knew she still wasn't thrilled with his idea. "Relax. It'll be fun. "

She laughed and leaned back, opening her legs.

His finger immediately searched for one of the cherries. Immediately, he knew by the noises she was making that he reached some pleasureable spots that he'd never searched for before. His tongue also swirled around in her, to a different pace than his finger. It wasn't helping his search, but it seemed to arouse her. After a few minutes, he could feel her start to tense in worry that he actually couldn't find them. He promptly fished out a cherry with his finger and captured it between his teeth. "See?" He bit down and squished it.

She sighed in delight, resting one of her hands on her stomach. "No jokes about popping my cherry?"

"Too obvious." He licked her clit- long and full of tongue- before moving back down to find the other cherry. He didn't play around as much, already feeling her muscles clench around him. His tongue brought the cherry out and he ate it on her clit, giving it a few nibbles as well. With a quick tap of his fingers on her g-spot, she came withering on the sheets.

"That was good," she said, coming out of her daze.

"Yeah." House bit on his lip and tried to enjoy the look on her face. But soon, he had to stand up and start pacing the room to stretch his legs out. The pain was unbelievably worse because of the way he'd been lying on it, and the lack of Vicodin in the past day.

"Sorry." She sat up, knowing exactly what was wrong with him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He winced with every step. He hated it, but he didn't think he would be able to make love to Cuddy that night. "I should just go."

"Are you kidding?" She stepped out of bed, her robe flying open momentarily before she held it closed.

"No." He tried to focus on something else, other than the shooting pain in his leg and her incessant screaming in his head.

"What? Everything that you did tonight to show me- well, I don't know exactly what- with the dress and the list of fantasies, and now you're just going to leave?" She paused. "It's not exactly consistent."

"I'm not consistent," He urged, not quite sure what he was trying to prove. "I'll stay, if you want me to." He didn't want her to feel obligated to him in any way. He was a crippled drug-addict, and although that dominated her professional life, he couldn't let her feel personally guilty for his handicap. At least not when they were in bed.

"Of course I want you to stay," she said blatantly. "Lie down. Maybe you'll feel better in a few minutes."

Hand on his thigh, he shuffled over to the bed and sat where she'd made a space for him. He rested his head on the pillow and closed his eyes. He felt Cuddy pull off his pants, which were already at his knees. She kissed his forehead, and seemed to snuggle into his side. He didn't really mind for the time being, but as soon as his leg was feeling better, he knew he'd want to shake her off.

Just as he was inhaling the smell of her hair, he heard the faint gurgle of the whipped cream can. An air-light puff of cream landed on his chest moments later. Then, it was covered by Cuddy's sweet mouth. "Ahhhh..." She felt so good, and he rested a hand on the back of her head, combing his fingers lightly through her hair. "Cuddy."

She repeated the action, stroking the inside of his good thigh. It twitched and rotated closer to her. "Like that?" She asked, putting more effort into her touch. He felt her set the cool can of whipped cream next to his shoulder as she sat up. Her fingers trailed on his skin before lifting off and landing on his bad leg.

His eyes snapped open and she hooked her finger on the edge of his boxers, letting them ride up. She was being careful, taking note of his reaction, but she didn't let him stop her. As an inch of his scar was revealed, he panicked and pressed his hand onto the fabric. "Stop."

"I've seen it before." She swiped her fingers under his boxers, touching it.

House had forgotten about their previous morning of passion, but he still felt a strong aversion to her looking at his scar. "I know," he asserted, not wanting to sound stupid. "Just give me a minute." Perhaps he had gotten so caught up in the sex that morning that he'd been too distracted to worry about his scar. He needed that distraction now. "Use the whipped cream again." She kept her fingers rubbing the same small area of his scar over and over. It bothered him, setting off a burn of frustration in his stomach. His hand tightly enveloped hers and removed from underneath his boxers. He pressed a few forceful kisses to her lips before pulling away to stare at her.

Cuddy wrapped her fingers around the can of whipped cream and tossed it between her hands playfully. "Okay. What do you want me to do?"

"Spray that where you want to kiss me." Unless she had something dirtier in mind...something he hadn't thought of.

"You have to take off your boxers," she demanded, playing with the elastic.

"Your enthusiasm for sucking my dick is noted." He shifted his boxers around until his erection stuck out the hole in the front. "But modern altercations have allowed us to get around that."

"You do it." She thrust the can onto his chest. "Put it where you want me to kiss."

"That's an interesting twist on the game. I thought you'd be the one to tell me where to put it." He smiled, his leg feeling better by the minute. Apparently analyzing Cuddy libido was just as distracting as actually fucking her. "But since I'm doing all the work, you need a handicap." _Or two, _he thought.

"What?" She asked, quizzically.

"Turn around." He yanked on the cord of her robe, pulling the soft fabric out of all four loops. "Hands behind your back."

She didn't complain until she felt the rope circling her wrists. "Hey! You didn't have to tie me up." She tried to free her hands, but House's home-made handcuffs wouldn't stretch.

He smirked proudly at a job well done. "You would have been yearning to touch my body. It's impossible to resist." She turned back around and he peered at her with squinted eyes. She still had a clear advantage over him. "Got a bandanna?"

"Yes. Am I going to regret that?" She was kneeling on the bed, at his bidding.

He realized she was fulfilling an entire other fantasy on her own. "By the way, this doesn't count for the 'Tie Cuddy up' fantasy. One fantasy per night. That's a rule."

Cuddy slid off the bed. "Actually, it's the 'Tie House up' fantasy, and I think it would be efficient to knock a couple out a night." She shrugged. "The bandanna's in here." She knocked her hip against the top drawer.

"Okay...bring it here." He laughed. She actually expected him to get it for her. His leg still hurt and he was going to milk her pity for all she could give to him.

She sighed and went to work at opening the drawer with her hands tied behind her back. "I mean, we actually could cross off three fantasies. One for the food, and two for tying each other up."

He suppressed another laugh, excitedly anticipating her reaction when she figured out the bandanna was for her. "Yeah. But the rule is one per day. So the others don't count."

She stood on her tippy-toes to reach far back in the drawer, undoubtedly scraping her hand on the rough edge of it. She didn't seem to notice much, but it took her awhile to find it. "You're afraid that we're going to run out," she said, bringing up an issue from their previous argument.

God, he hated when she did this. They'd already discussed it. "We're NOT going to run out of fantasies."

"Yes, we are." She pretended to be nonchalant about it, like she'd already accepted their fate. "We're going to run out, and then we'll just sit here, having nothing to do. And then you'll leave and we won't be in a relationship anymore."

"Was that what you were thinking about when I was going down on you?" He meant it as a joke, and sincerely hoped it wasn't true, but he knew Cuddy didn't get this pissed off without thinking a lot.

"No." She turned around and waved the bandanna in his face until he took it. "That was nice. Thank you." Her gratitude was spontaneous, as if it hadn't occurred to her to be polite. "And thank you for not losing cherries inside of me." She suddenly broke off into another tangent. "But you were going to leave and I had to play nice to get you to stay."

"Next time..." He scooted forward and pulled her hips until she sat on the bed. "...just tell me I'm being an ass." He placed his hands on her shoulder, like he was going to give her a massage, but kept the bandanna in his hands.

"I will." She tensed in his arms. "I hate feeling like I've done something wrong all the time."

"You have done nothing wrong," he told her honestly, and she relaxed. When she closed her eyes, he decided it was time. He tied the folded bandanna around her forehead swiftly.

"What?" She cried out, "No! This is for you."

"Don't take it off..." he warned, pressing his chest into her back and thrusting his hips towards her. She gasped quietly, and let him maneuver her.

House took off his boxers and sprayed a long trail of whipped cream from his ankle to his throbbing erection, thoroughly coating it. Then he pulled the plastic off of the top of the chocolate syrup and uncapped it with a _pop! _He poured a few thick lines over the whipped cream, thinking that Cuddy would enjoy it. "Okay. You may begin your search."

Without the balance of her hands, Cuddy simply fell forward, her cheek brushing against the cream at his knee. "Oooh. Found something." Using her stomach muscles, she pulled herself back up to a kneeling position.

Her hair was getting mussed with all the activity, and House could only get more turned on. He didn't think he could wait until she got to his dick, and thought about running his hand up and down it- just to hold off. He resisted, not wanting to get his hand all messy again. Besides, she was already licking all the way down his leg and back up his thigh.

Her cheeks retained a few swipes of whipped cream on them and she laughed as she realized that he covered almost his entire pelvic area with it. Without the use of her hands, Cuddy had to guess where his dick was, opening her mouth and licking the air with her tongue. "Where is it?"

He laughed, pushing her head down. Despite his efforts, she missed again, smushing her face against his hip bone. "This isn't working. Untie me." She sat back up on her knees and attempted to clean some of the cream off of her face using her tongue.

"Come here." House guided her shoulder towards him, so she was kneeling by his side. He brought her face down to kiss the cream off of it before removing her blindfold.

"Any chance...?" She turned to indicate her bound hands.

"Nope." He crossed his arms. "Back to work, missy."

She smiled and climbed in between his legs. Sucking him off was no problem now that she had her use of sight. He watched her shoulders strain as her arms struggled to keep balance behind her. The natural recoil of her leg muscles as she bent down added intensity to her suction, and he found himself close to orgasm after only a few minutes. Luckily for him, she moved to feed hungrily on the skin of his pelvis and around to his balls, which relieved the tension in his legs for only a moment, building a powerful arousal that he could feel _everywhere._ When she finished cleaning him, he told her, "Come up here and I'll untie you."

She spread her legs around his and shimmied up his body. Her hair hung over his shoulder as she leaned forward so he could untie her. House, however, had other plans. He directed her backward, once again, and sat her down on top of his sticky erection. It slid against her ass.

"House." She looked down uncomfortably. "Untie me and I'll..." She indicated what she wanted to do by lowering herself so her hands could wrap around his dick clumsily. "You know..." She sat back up again, and her cupped hands moved upward along him until they were only rubbing the tip. "...it's a lot easier if I'm not tied." She panted as she squatted back down, "Although this is a great workout."

He skipped the jack-ass remark about how much she could use it, and leaned just a fraction backward so she hovered over him, perfectly aligned to push himself inside of her. Cuddy realized what he wanted and sank down on him.

After moaning, he sat up to hold her and pulled at the rope at her wrists.

"Thank you," she sighed, stretching her arms and wrapping them loosely around him. "This feels so much better." She rolled her hips towards him and then back around. "But you know I don't mind-"

"I know." He tightened his arms, pressing them together until they couldn't possibly get any closer. His chin dug into her neck and he kissed her jaw. They both rocked together, and then in opposite directions until House felt himself coming from all the heat surrounding him. He couldn't really tell how close she was at the time, until he rubbed her clit and she came right after him, groaning, "Oh."

It took them a while to untangle themselves, as their skin was stuck together with sugar.

"I need a shower," she remarked, pushing all the food off the bed so she could lie down next to him.

"Yeah," He laid there next to her for an appropriate amount of time before excusing himself. She didn't ask him what he was doing, and he appreciated her trust. He used the bathroom, and then took the washcloth hanging in her shower. He cleaned himself off, rinsed it, and brought it back into her bed.

"Thank you," she said again, reaching for it.

He flopped back on the bed, too tired to watch her. He heard the wet washcloth drop onto the table as she snuggled next to him, warmly wrapped in her robe.

The next sound he heard was Rachel crying.

* * *

A/N: Sorry that took me forever. I went through like ten Cosmo's to write it all.

Except Cuddy's behind-the-back handjob. That was my idea, thank you very much.

Actually, I should probably credit Cosmopolitan in the disclaimer.

I plan on crossing off ALL of Huddy's fantasies. The sexual one's only. Because just the idea of having to deal with the mess of a Huddy baby gives me a headache. (Not that it wouldn't be _really _cool to see it on the show. But then, it's David Shore and the writers' problem, not mine.)

I am tired. For some reason, I cannot update a story before one o'clock in the morning. It is just impossible.

I would love you if you reviewed.


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